Certainly, I can't be the only person who has been in a girlfriend / boyfriend relationship, then just sort of moved on, without ever officially dissolving it. It doesn't seem like a big deal, and perhaps it's not. Yet, it's strange. Why would I have this type of relationship where, at some point, I felt our togetherness was important enough to make official, yet not think it necessary to spend 30 seconds to make our un-togetherness an official thing? My gut tells me that it was my way, and perhaps the way of my girlfriends, to just avoid any sort of confrontation. I use the term confrontation loosely though, since it's not as though a simple discussion would have led to anything but an amicable ending. Still, doing nothing is often so much easier than do something, or even doing anything.
T was kind enough to meet up with me today, show me around his office, and even bought me a really good lunch (translation: it was an all-you-can-eat kind of arrangement). T graduated from law school a year earlier than I did but, as I found out while eating a way-too-many-onions salad, he was not only a successful, non-lawyer type while we were in law school, but is also an even more successful, non-lawyer type now. His diplomas seem to be nothing more than art on his office wall, and I mean that in a good way.
While I was shoving one onion after another into my mouth, and cursing the idiot that prepared such a pitiful salad, T told me the story about T, including a captivating piece about his one-time, and perhaps current, girlfriend. The love story aspect of it was nice, but it was the lack of finality that really grabbed my attention. Like me, it appears that T technically has a girlfriend, but in the real world, probably does not. I don't know why that is the case though, and I didn't push T for more information. Perhaps I felt like I had pried enough, or perhaps I just felt that I didn't need to know.
His story, even if it lacks an answer as to "the why," was enough for me. It gave me plenty to think about, both in terms of his life and mine.
I wonder how Facebook has influenced the tendency for couples to do the we-are-officially-over thing. It seems like typing a quick status update might be doable, even for a person that absolutely avoids all things that might even think about leading to confrontation. Even better, a person could just change their relationship status on Facebook, and the other party would eventually figure it out. Unfortunately, those ideas won't work for me. Even with the miracle of Facebook, I've lost touch with these confusingly current girlfriends. Perhaps my only hope for an official breakup is this writing. So, if you are reading this, E, B, and R, we are over. No hard feelings?