I visited with T in Denver, his place of work, though he resides in California in a city whose name includes "Newport". While we ate dinner alone, I noticed how he had changed, physically, since the last time I had seen him. I'm not sure what I mean by this, but I felt that he had grown into himself, as if he really, really looks like T now. Maybe in the past, he had only kind of looked like T. Later, I wondered if I felt that way simply because I thought he and I looked more alike than we ever had before.
While pondering his appearance and my reaction to it, I mentioned to him that few of our family members seem to know that he's even in Denver. I had brought this up to a handful of them while discussing my upcoming travel plans that included T in Denver. Most of them were unaware that he worked there. The common response was, "I thought he lived someplace in California." That was a bit odd to me, but not entirely. T has interesting relationships. It's not a huge thing for people not to know where he's at and it's even less of a big thing for him to seem to care (at least I think). Still, I felt a bit badly about this. Was this really my family? Has T really not talked to most of them since he started working in Denver? It didn't just happen last week or even last month.
I don't know who is to blame for this, or even if blame is appropriate. Nobody seems to know where T works, and perhaps nobody cares. The relationships between T and others might work for T and the others. If nobody else is bothered, then perhaps I shouldn't be bothered either. But I kind of am. Maybe it's because I'm narcissistic and think that people can only be truly happy if and when they live lives that are similar to mine. But it's foolish to think that way. To each their own, as long as they aren't hurting others in the process. That leaves me with the possibility that it bugs me because I see this lack of concern in myself a bit. I'm not quite sure if I want to recognize it in me, at least not yet.
Like T, it's not rare for me to feel like my family, and others, have no clue about me and my life. Again, it's not necessary here to assign blame or responsibility to the situation. It is what it is. For now, it is simply something that I notice, wonder about, write about, and maybe worry about. When it's all said and done though, I am happy with my relationship with T. I really like him. I liked our time together. I like that I slept on his couch in his hotel, just like I used to do. And I like that he seems to like me. The rest can wait.